Although the spartan room in the brownstone on Rue La Bruyere had witnessed a lot of suffering, Silas doubted anything could match the anguish now gripping his pale body. I was deceived. Everything is lost.
Silas had been tricked. The brothers had lied, choosing death instead of revealing their true secret. Silas did not have the strength to call the Teacher. Not only had Silas killed the only four people who knew where the keystone was hidden, he had killed a nun inside Saint‑Sulpice. She was working against God! She scorned the work of Opus Dei!
A crime of impulse, the womans death complicated matters greatly. Bishop Aringarosa had placed the phone call that got Silas into Saint‑Sulpice; what would the abbe think when he discovered the nun was dead? Although Silas had placed her back in her bed, the wound on her head was obvious. Silas had attempted to replace the broken tiles in the floor, but that damage too was obvious. They would know someone had been there.
Silas had planned to hide within Opus Dei when his task here was complete. Bishop Aringarosa will protect me . Silas could imagine no more blissful existence than a life of meditation and prayer deep within the walls of Opus Deis headquarters in New York City. He would never again set foot outside. Everything he needed was within that sanctuary. Nobody will miss me . Unfortunately, Silas knew, a prominent man like Bishop Aringarosa could not disappear so easily.
I have endangered the bishop . Silas gazed blankly at the floor and pondered taking his own life. After all, it had been Aringarosa who gave Silas life in the first place . . . in that small rectory in Spain, educating him, giving him purpose.
My friend, Aringarosa had told him, you were born an albino. Do not let others shame you for this. Do you not understand how special this makes you? Were you not aware that Noah himself was an albino?
Noah of the Ark? Silas had never heard this.
Aringarosa was smiling. Indeed, Noah of the Ark. An albino. Like you, he had skin white like an angel. Consider this. Noah saved all of life on the planet. You are destined for great things, Silas. The Lord has freed you for a reason. You have your calling. The Lord needs your help to do His work.
Over time, Silas learned to see himself in a new light. I am pure. White. Beautiful. Like an angel.
At the moment, though, in his room at the residence hall, it was his fathers disappointed voice that whispered to him from the past.
Tu es un desastre. Un spectre.
Kneeling on the wooden floor, Silas prayed for forgiveness. Then, stripping off his robe, he reached again for the Discipline.